I haven’t been dancing for that long, but I do like it. Now it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve fallen victim to the similar trappings that prevent men from getting on the dance floor: not wanting to look foolish, thinking it’s not a masculine thing to do, and just downright fear. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ll know that it’s been quite a journey for me to get where I am. That said, I also have aspirations for competitive ballroom dance. So here are a few pointers on how to get a man to dance.
Appeal to his male ego and let him know that other women are noticing him dance
Let’s face it girls, yes, your man does want and need you to notice him and think he’s the best in your eyes. That said, any compliment coming from you has a certain bias attached to it. Either they’re trying to make you feel better or trying to steer your behavior in some way. When other women notice you (thus giving a derivative compliment), it means only 1 thing: you look good. Then the ego takes over and any man would then not only want to do more dancing, but may want to improve by taking dance classes with you.
Appeal to his competitive and jealous tendencies
Now this one’s a little bit more of a tightrope to walk but if done well, it can be quite effective. Let me first say, do not mention how other guys look so good when they dance. If you do that, you will crush whatever confidence he has and he might never dance again. Instead, just be the supportive girl you are and he will notice other men dancing. Then (and this only really works in a dance class setting where it’s expected other men will ask your lady to dance), when another man asks you to dance and he sees how much fun you’re having, he will feel really crappy at first, but then after he cools off his competitive spirit will take over and he will want to be better than this other guy (and all the other guys for that matter). You will then see a newfound dedication in him that you never saw before.
Let your man know when they execute a dance step or song really well
For this one to work, it has to be real. Partner dancing has so much communication that even if you were to tell him that he’s doing well but your body communicates that you’re still worried about him stepping on your feet, you’ll just lose credibility. But when you honestly and earnestly notice that he’s getting better, let him know. Moreover, when you breathe a sigh of relief when you switch partners and you get your man because he is much better than others, really let him know! I mentioned before about the Equity Theory of Dance where you grade yourself against others so any time you can compare your man against others in a positive way, it will go leagues to build him up to stick with dancing.
Get involved with a dance group socially
Bonding with your dance group either through organized functions or outside of the dance agenda, getting involved with a group socially is what will cement your man’s commitment to dance. Not only will he not want to be a bad dancer when he dances with other women in the group (thus making him want to practice more), but dance will take on a social circle meaning which is quite powerful. By having dance and dancing well tied to a positive social circle, he will put in the time to get to be a better dancer to maintain that social aspect.
Tie dancing to sex
OK, this one may be a tad controversial and do with it what you will, but if you want to change a man’s behavior in any aspect including dancing, tie that behavior to sex or a high probability of getting sex. Now, this isn’t a deal where if they will “bear dancing” that there’s sex in it later. No, that’s way too clinical and won’t persist in the long-run. Instead, he will notice if dancing (either in lessons or out on the town) makes you feel sexy and then when you get home you’re all charged up. Your man will associate those two activities and will want to dance not for the sex alone but because he will figure out that dancing makes him look good which, in turn, makes you want him.
I hope this helps along the way. Just a few things I’ve picked up from a man’s point of view.